Monday, January 12, 2004

Sticking it to The Man

Well, this begins a new era in employment for The Amy. I have decided that I am starting a new business writing cranky letters for people when The Man has brought them down. For those who are interested, consider this my reference. It's long, so be forewarned. Hopefully this will hold My Public for awhile.

Frontier Airlines, Inc.
Attn: Customer Relations
7001 Tower Road
Denver, CO 80249-7312

To whom it may concern:

As any business, I'm sure that Frontier is very concerned with numbers. In your business, really, it's all about numbers. How much can you charge for a ticket, how many people can you cram on your aircraft, and how many minutes will a flight be delayed. So I'd like to share a few numbers that became very real to me last weekend as I traveled on Frontier Airlines from San Jose, CA, through Denver, CO, to Omaha, NE. Or, I should say, attempted to travel.

First, let's talk about the number 434. That number was supposed to wing my fiance and I to lovely Omaha, early in the evening. Instead, due to "mechanical difficulties," which probably had more to do with a drunk pilot and an undersold flight than a broken part, we had the pleasure of sitting in Denver International Airport for 5 hours, missing a dinner with friends we hadn't seen in years. What did we get for our trouble? While we stood in line, hoping this airline ran more than one flight a day, we watched as passengers on other flights were offered $300-$400 in travel vouchers, and a stay at a Radisson hotel for taking a bump. We were offered $9 per person for a similar delay, due to the "mechanical" failure that was clearly beyond our control. Just enough to buy a chicken salad from Lefty's Mile High Grill. No offense to Lefty, but it wasn’t quite the gourmet Omaha Steaks we had in mind.

So, we're up $18 on the trip and just beginning our experience with Frontier's whole different animal. Let's move forward to Sunday, when the fun really kicks in. It was snowing in Omaha, so naturally we were anticipating some problems. After we got on our aircraft, Flt. #439, we learned our flight would be delayed due to fog in Denver. Sensing a potential problem, I informed our ever-knowledgeable and attentive flight attendant we had just an hour to make our connection in Denver. "Oh, don’t worry," said this young lady, who I'm certain could have an alternate career in neurosurgery, if only it offered more travel, "I'm sure the whole grid's backed up." I took comfort in her words, as I am just some idiot in a very small seat, and she knew how to work the flotation devices.

After sitting on the runway for exactly 60 minutes (don’t you love how these numbers keep popping up?) we pushed back and headed into Denver. As we approached and I realized we were nearing the witching hour of our connecting flight’s departure, I again rang Dr. Stewardess and asked her if maybe someone with a communication device could let someone with access to the brakes know we were on our way. Again, she was sure the grid was backed up. She was so sure, in fact, that I almost believed her, until we pulled into our gate at DIA (29) and saw our connecting flight (#169) pulling back from Gate 32. I need to emphasize this: WE SAW OUR FLIGHT PULLING BACK. The grid, apparently, was not that backed up.

So, we waited in line at the Frontier customer service department at DIA. Finally, we get to an actual service representative and tried to tell our story. We were tired, we were hungry and yes, we were a little crabby. We explained to a charming young blonde lady that we missed our connection due to holding the flight in Omaha and she charmingly replied, "Oh, well, we’re overbooked for all flights today and stand-by is 30 deep. I don’t think you’re getting out." Then, foolishly, I asked her if I could get to San Francisco and if Frontier would pay for a cab to San Jose. The answer: "Oh, those are all booked too. And we wouldn’t pay for that anyway." Reaching about the end of my tolerance, I inquire about a hotel for the impending night’s stay. The response, verbatim: "Nope. Nothing." Those nine-dollar vouchers seem like gold right about now.

Nothing. Listen, I know it was weather-related and technically, you people don’t have to do a thing, but c’mon, WE SAW OUR FLIGHT PULLING BACK. Can you imagine how frustrating that is? To face the possibility of being stuck in an airport for multiple days and no one seems to care? We cajoled, we begged, we threatened; all we got was a surly response and a promise that we weren’t getting out until 5 PM the next night- at the earliest. And let me tell you- I was not sitting around at Lefty’s for another 24-36 hours. I don’t care how good those salads are.

So, we left. You may be wondering how we got home. Actually, you probably have stopped reading this by now, but I’ll tell you anyway. We went to a RIVAL airline, Alaska Airlines, and found a fare from Denver to Oakland that was ridiculous, but not obscene. By spending an additional $358 we could get home at 11PM that same night. Since you people weren’t going to pay for hotel, cab, food, or anything else, we figured that we would have dropped at least $250 in Denver anyway. Plus the day of work we both would have missed, which averages out to about $400 total. (Are you still adding?)

You know, my fiance used to work for American Airlines- we KNOW the legitimate airline industry holds planes for people making connections. We paid $517 (pay attention, it’s another number) for the promise that our butts would be in those seats. They weren't and we want our money back. As I see it, here’s how the numbers break down:

5- hours in DIA on the trip out
8- hours in DIA on the trip back
$517- cost of original fare for 2 people, San Jose to Omaha
$358- cost of additional fare on Alaska Airlines
$18- total amount of food vouchers received
10- minutes you could have waited for us.
$2,500- approximate amount of money we personally spend on airfare every year, none of which will ever go to Frontier Airlines, ever again.

Really, the question is simple. How much was that 10 minutes really worth to you?

Regards,
The Amy

I think it will be quite a successful business venture.