She's Crafty

As part of a recently renewed promise to myself to try to become more patient and less likely to fly off the handle at little things- like poor drivers who run into the back bumper of my car in the vain attempt to shave a measly 5 seconds, SWEET BABY JESUS, off their drive time- I have decided to take up knitting. I can't imagine this will go well, as my past history with any and all things involving arts and crafts usually results in tears and some sort of X-acto injury, but I'm going to give it a shot. Knitting seems to be the new hip thing for hipsters (and wannabes, such as myself) to do. I can just see myself flitting along the streets of San Francisco with my cool new poncho, or perhaps a smart sweater vest. And then I can start making baby booties and blankies for all these people who insist on getting pregnant. And beer cozies for those who don't.

When I told my sister, a knitter herself, about this plan, her reaction was a cross between a snort and guffaw. She said something along the lines of, "Umm, Amy, you know that knitting takes a lot of patience, right? Maybe you should try cross stitch instead." Now, I certainly don't see myself cross stitching any baby booties and I'm not going to subject my friends and loved ones to gifts of pillows with sayings like: "Bloom where you're planted" or "Princess of Everything," so I shot that idea down. Knitting it will be, friends.

I only bring this up because yesterday I received the knitting supplies I purchased online- craft stores give me the willies, so I decided to go the www route- and the reality of this new hobby choice set in. In wasn't so much the bamboo knitting needles, or the fuzzy black and pink yarn that scared me, but the various advertisements and coupons for things they assumed I would want, as a knitter. There was an offer of an engraved plate featuring some sort of Christmas scene involving rodents, a number of patterns for the dreaded cross stitch, and- horror of horrors- a coupon for some Precious Moments figurines.

For a person who used to dread art class and still can't color inside the lines, I'm starting to wonder if maybe I've jumped into this new hobby with a little too much vim and vigor. I'm still looking forward to completing my first super-cool hot pink and black striped scarf, but I'm on the lookout for any signs within myself that I'm turning into someone who uses "scrapbook" as a verb and thinks hot glue is the solution to almost any problem.

I made it through a wedding without lace doilies, though, so I think I can stay true to my hard core self. Hot pink beer cozies may be a good start.